The team / A card-carrying collection

Exceptional
specimens.

Athletes. Adventurers.
People who have been left unsupervised.

Find your card. See how it’s doing.

DUMMY CARDS · INVENTED FIGURES · REAL MEMBERS TO FOLLOW

The collection

Every walrus,
one card.

On a phone, swipe sideways through the deck. Every card carries the same figures as the card itself — nothing is recalculated here.

SEXY WALRUSNo. 01
Club artwork used in place of a member photographClub artwork, not a photographDummy card · invented figures

The Beak

Rufus B.

Out of the water first and silent about it. Allegedly trains. Nobody has witnessed this.

Best finish
#1
Best time
1:06:52
Races
14
Recent form
1st · 1st · 2nd
Consistency
9
Humility
8
Willingness to admit he trains
1

Traits illustrative · awaiting member profiles

SEXY WALRUSNo. 02
Club artwork used in place of a member photographClub artwork, not a photographDummy card · invented figures

The Current

Delphine V.

Swims as though the tide owes her money. Owns a wetsuit for every temperature, and a story for every wetsuit.

Best finish
#2
Best time
1:10:30
Races
12
Recent form
2nd · 3rd · 1st
Swim
9
Bike
7
Patience with the club
3

Traits illustrative · awaiting member profiles

SEXY WALRUSNo. 03
Club artwork used in place of a member photographClub artwork, not a photographDummy card · invented figures

The Diesel

Otto K.

Starts slowly, finishes sooner than anyone budgeted for, disputes nothing.

Best finish
#1
Best time
1:06:02
Races
11
Recent form
1st · 4th · 1st
Bike
9
Tactics
8
Punctuality
2

Traits illustrative · awaiting member profiles

SEXY WALRUSNo. 04
Club artwork used in place of a member photographClub artwork, not a photographDummy card · invented figuresWhite Fang

The Anchor

Marigold T.

Last home, therefore first away, therefore entitled to mention it for a full year.

Best finish
#18
Best time
1:32:35
Races
6
Recent form
24th · 22nd · 21st
Grit
9
Navigation
4
Being hurried
0

Traits illustrative · awaiting member profiles

SEXY WALRUSNo. 05
Club artwork used in place of a member photographClub artwork, not a photographDummy card · invented figures

The Surprise

Cedric W.

Turned up, borrowed a bicycle, and went a great deal better than anyone had allowed for.

Best finish
#9
Best time
1:24:10
Races
4
Recent form
9th · 12th · 11th
Swim
6
Bike
7
Run
8

Traits illustrative · awaiting member profiles

SEXY WALRUSNo. 06
Club artwork used in place of a member photographClub artwork, not a photographDummy card · invented figures

The Detour

Nessa H.

Three punctures, one wrong turning, and a DNF the club still discusses with fondness.

Best finish
#11
Best time
1:19:48
Races
11
Recent form
Puncture · Wrong turn · DNF
Resilience
10
Route-finding
2
Luck
1

Traits illustrative · awaiting member profiles

One card. One walrus.

Not everyone
is a seal elite.

A name. A face. A nickname that probably requires context.

Every member gets their own collectible-style card showing where they stand — best finish, best time, how many races they have done, recent form, and a link through to their full historic results. Whoever finished last in the previous race carries the White Fang, starts first next time, and says so on their card. Members can add their own Strava profile if they want one.

Everything on the cards below is invented, for the design. The names are initials, the figures are made up and the portraits are the club's own artwork standing in for photographs. Nothing here is a record of a real race, and nobody's photograph has been lifted off the internet. The real cards appear once the club supplies the roster, the photography and the figures.

This is a design preview, not a member directory. The real cards wait on the club’s own roster, photographs, nicknames and figures — until then the six above stand in, marked on the card as what they are: samples with invented numbers, using the club’s own artwork in place of portraits.

Member profiles and the full historic archive are still to come. Once the club’s records are in, the deck carries real finishes, real times and real form.
Back to the water

Every card in the archive

119 members

One card per finisher, built from the club’s records. Names open the card.